可否幫我修改一下文法!!

我打出來的這些文法不知道對不對
或許一些達人可以幫我修改一下   或者可以多加上一些字
下面是我的中文草稿
我知道我很濫   所以請見諒!!!



The other family
In this story the girl was draw a picture for the family at school, and the picture she draw is different then her family, her parents skin is change even her skin, when she go home and share the picture she draw, her mom was upset about the way she draw, and don’t understand why she do that for. The girl was saying everyone was drawing the same thing at school, she just did what everyone did.
In many times, schools always teach the same thing with follow the most people’s rule, and forgot the other. I think is kind like a brain wash make people think should follow the way they go and other is wrong. But sometimes this can make mistake even destroy a family. Maybe we should care more about that kind people and not trying to make them different.
In the end of story, the girl continue what she was drawing, she change her parents’ skin and other, saying that is the real family she got. And that’s why the other family.
She prove the thing, maybe she is different but she still want to be the one she is, I think we should trade them like same not to change them.


再文章中 小女孩再學校中畫了一幅圖 題目是the family   而她畫出了一個跟他們家庭不符合的圖片   她的爸媽膚色變了 甚至是自己的膚色   回家後跟媽媽分享當天畫圖的內容   而媽媽哭了    媽媽對於小女孩的舉動很不諒解  女孩是說他們學校大家都這樣畫的  而她只是照做而已   
很多時候 再學校中的教導中 都是遵循著大多數人的規律  而卻忘記了少數民族  算是一種洗腦吧!!讓別人絕得應該遵循他們的路  甚至有時候可以毀了一個家庭    或許我們應該多注意一些那些少數


再故事最後 小女孩隔天上學   在老師面前繼續了她所畫的  將她的FAMILY 畫出 強調了她真正的家庭

[ 本帖最後由 robert1984 於 2007-12-9 12:22 編輯 ]

一直以來在這裡幫忙看翻譯,發現大家犯的錯都是一樣的,看來我們的英語教育真的有在檢討的必要 :emo 017:

觀念一: 英語基本句型:主詞+動詞+受詞 (S+V+O)
觀念二: 一句話只會有一個動詞, 除非有對等連接詞來連接兩句話

紅色的是有錯的地方,你先想一想要怎麼改,我改天在告訴你答案
還有,你的句點和逗點有點混亂,在英文裡句點是很重要的~~

JACK

The other family
In this story the girl was draw a picture for the family at school, and the picture she draw is different then her family, her parents skin is change even her skin, when she go home and share the picture she draw, her mom was upset about the way she draw, and don’t understand why she do that for. The girl was saying everyone was drawing the same thing at school, she just did what everyone did.
In many times, schools always teach the same thing with follow the most people’s rule, and forgot the other. I think is kind like a brain wash make people think should follow the way they go and other is wrong. But sometimes this can make mistake even destroy a family. Maybe we should care more about that kind people and not trying to make them different.
In the end of story, the girl continue what she was drawing, she change her parents’ skin and other, saying that is the real family she got. And that’s why the other family.She prove the thing, maybe she is different but she still want to be the one she is, I think we should trade them like same not to change them.

At school, a little girl drew a picture.
The topic of the picture was "the family".
She took the picture home and showed to her mother.
However, the picture that she drew did not really match with her family, especially the color of their skin.
That made her mam very sad.
The mother wanted to know why she used different skin color to draw this pciture.
The little girl's answer was she just following everybody's way.
What she wanted to do was just trying to be the same as others.

英語教育真的有檢討的必要 !!
其實學校教的 英翻中 中翻英 也是造成錯誤學習的推手
用中文造句再翻譯 ~~ 天啊 這不是正確的
要直接試著用英文說出才是王道
不管直接用英文說出說再濫 也會進步
英翻中 中翻英 是永遠難有進步的 ~~
說個讓樓主傷心的話 ...... 你的文章只是單字的中翻英 幾乎沒有遵循任何文法
試試直接用英文說出
有時候 把複雜的拆成三句非常簡單的話 直接用英文說出

[ 本帖最後由 XEON 於 2007-10-18 06:11 編輯 ]

哈~XEON大,我從來也沒想到英翻中,中翻英是造成錯誤學習的推手
現在想想好像真的是這樣
當初來剛來美國時,所有的要講的句子都要在腦子裡中翻英
一來結結巴巴,沒有辦法清楚連貫的表達,二來,講出來的東西都是中式英文

考試阿~~真的是教育的殺手
從音標,到中翻英~~這真的不是學英文的正確方式

回到原PO, 其實你在寫玩一段東西後,自己用最簡單的方式先檢查:
一句話一個主詞一個動詞
動詞的時態
動詞與第三人稱的一致性
你把這些不應該犯的基本錯誤一次依次都更正了,
慢慢的這些東西就會變成習慣

JACK

1) the girl was draw a picture for the family at school
不應該用was,這樣用會說成"被畫"..應該用has

2)she draw is different then her family
語法錯誤 你想說有所不同 請用different between

3)when she go home and share the picture
是went和shared

4)and don’t understand why she do that for
understanded

5)The girl was saying
用said會比較好 必須告訴你 最好整個文章用一個tense

6)I think is kind like a brain wash make people think should follow the way they go and other is wrong

改成i think it's a kind of such as washing people mind,which want the student just follow the way,or not it's wrong

7)sometimes this can make mistake even destroy a family
even不是這樣用 用like比較好

8)should care more about that kind people and not trying to make them different
改that kind "of" ppl 還有 是 don't try to

9)In the end of story
是at

其實還有很多錯處 慢慢改吧 --