說到出國，那才是經典...
前幾年到歐洲去玩，在德國漢堡（Hamburg，不是食物）國際機場時一位海關德國佬操著非常德意志腔的英文和我小聊一些。
一開始他說：Hello, are you new to Hamburg?
我就說：Yes, also first time to Germany.
他就說（一邊等著我的護照）：Good! Welcome! Where did you come from?
我說（遞出護照，怕人不認識台灣）：Republic of China.
他就說：China!!! Yar, yar! Good! You have many many people, very big country!
我就指著護照說明：No... not China -- Republic of China. Small island -- about 23 million people.
他反問（用力地翻弄我的護照，我都怕被扯壞了）：Not China? Republic China is not China? Why say China? Why only small island?
我耐心說明：Not People's Republic of China, but Republic of China. No People in the Republic of China.
他說：What? No PEOPLE? What country has no people? Is it a country?
我急了，再指護照封面：Look here -- Republic of China - Taiwan!
他一副恍然大悟狀：Ahhhhhh.. TAIWAN! I know! Beautiful island Taiwan. Not China!
我同意：Yes, very beautiful island -- Taiwan. But also known as Republic of China.
他反對：No. Only one China in the world. BIG China, not small island. You come from Taiwan, yar???
我怕無法入關，不再解釋或爭執：Yes, I come from Taiwan. Small Island. Not China.
他笑，還我護照：Yar! You are Taiwan's people, not Chinese, not China. Now we both know, we both agree. Good. You can pass.
臨走前，他又送我一句：Next time say you come from Taiwan -- China passport is red, not green. Don't try to lie to custom officer.
我趕緊閃人...
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